When I first started this blog, almost exactly 1 year ago, my intent was to let off some steam and share some of my mommy stories. I quickly found out that I couldn't be completely honest with my rants. REAL people read this occasionally, some of whom I know in person. I didn't want to come off as a total psycho who couldn't stand her husband and disliked being a mom. But let's face it, being a wife and mother is hard and sometimes those thoughts occur and you have to let them out. I don't communicate well, and sometimes writing it all out makes me feel better.
It's not that I'm afraid to put the "real" me out there, it's that I got a lot of personall sh*t going on sometimes and I don't particularly want everybody and their mama to read about it. While I would perhaps appreciate the input of an impartial stranger, I don't need the mailman to offer his two cents. Or Aunt Susie or my sister-in-law... So I sorta tried being funny and sharing silly anecdotes, like "Blueberry Hell" and "Southern Nectar." I've had some good ones, I think, but even then, sometimes I don't get any response. nothing. nada. It's not that I'm in this for the love, fortune or fame. I have no interest in BlogHer, stats or followers. I'm not an aspiring writer- been there, done that- Okay, maybe writing for a small daily newspaper doesn't REALLY count, but technically I've been published more times that I was ever interesting in.
I do love some comments though, as we all do, so I joined SITS - just a way to get and encourage comments. It's been good and I've come across some fabulous ladies out there, but sometimes it's overwhelming. SO many bloggers and roll calls, SO little time. And even that doesn't bring out the "lurkers,"- yeah, YOU!
But like I said, I've enjoyed "meeting" lots of you and my blog roll has expanded lately. Even my husband started his own dorky blog. I guess now that he reads mine he figured he would get in on the action, too. I don't know. If you happen to check it out, notice his use of theorems and geek-talk. Seriousley, we watch "The Big Bang Theory" and he knows what Sheldon is talking about!
So now I'm kinda wondering, "Why am I doing this?" If I feel like I need to censor myself, knowing that nobody may ever read it, but then again, maybe suddenly lots of people will read it....I don't know. I do know that I enjoy other blogs I can relate to. Everyone wants to feel validated and like they aren't alone. I guess, if I can share my ramblings with people who get something out of it- whether it's a chuckle or a "me, too!"- then that's why I'm here. To make those small connections with people. Uber cheesy? I know, this post sorta went all over the place, but I've found that it's better if I don't over-edit.
So, anyway. It's been a hell of a week and I'm ending with scripture:
"If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the spirit, any compassion and sympathy, make my joy complete..." -Philippians 2:1-2
9 comments:
I get what you are saying. Blogging is work. If I didn't put the work into visiting other people's blog, they wouldn't visit mine. It is really that simple. I actually think it is kind of rude when you regularly visit someone's blog and they can't make the time to come by yours and say hello. (well, unless you have 100+ comments daily, and then I understand).
I also understand the censoring portion. I don't blog about a lot because I have given the link to family and friends. I wish I hadn't now.
How would you feel about starting a new, anonymous blog?
I hear all that and then some. Sometimes it's tough deciding what to write about. In the end it should be what you want since it's your blog.
May the force be with you.
Well, I can certainly say that I hope you don't quit!
And I relate a lot to what you are talking about. Sometimes I don't write about what I really want to because I dont' want to be judged...or I know my inlaws read it...or whatever.
And the comments...even though I really don't write for the comments or the fame or the whatever...I sometimes write something and think "Really? No one has anything to say about that?!?!?"
On that same line...I've been a bad commenter of late because of I'm in my own little funk and work has been a bear and I've been actively tried to sell my kids on eBay...but if you keep writing, I promise to keep reading!
I sort of censor myself, because my ex-husband's wife found my blog. I have no idea how she found it, but she did. She's the only one IRL who reads except a few friends I've invited to read, but they rarely do (thanks, guys, LOL).
It does suck to have to censor yourself, but blogging is worth it for me. I love the sense of community. And sometimes, if I really stop and think about whether or not I should post something, I end up saying "just post it! my blog, I'll do what I want!"
Don't stop, I enjoy reading and you know I "get you", if you didn't blog I seriously would never know what you have been up to. As far as censoring yourself...you can imagine my take on that, I understand, but would not break my neck doing it...we all have non pc feelings, it makes us who we are and we can identify with you b/c of it.
I know what you mean. I have the same thoughts sometimes! I have wanted to post a TON about Mr. P but I know a lot of people that know me in person read it...and it just feels weird sometimes. And then sometimes it feels even weirder to have strangers read it! And as far as putting a lot of time into it...yea, it's true. I mean already tonight I've spent an hour blogging and commenting. It gets overwhelming. I'd say keep doing it if helps you release! Blogging is such a strange, invasive world isn't it? A lot of times it's good and sometimes just so unfamiliar.
Those are my thoughts! All that to just say I feel ya! LOL :)
PS I have a feeling you have a ton more readers (aka lurkers) than you even know!
Thanks for the love, ladies. I didn't mean that I was considering quitting the blog- just that I needed the clarify "why" I write what I write, I guess. I haven't shared my blog with anyone but some friends, and even most of them don't read it, but you never know who will find you - like my hubby. I don't want to do a private blog b/c trying to do both would be too much- don't you agree CG? So anyway, thanks again for the lUV!
I so get it!! Thanks so much for stoppin by MY blog! I have seen you on chihuahua and tattooed as well!!! let's be friends! shall we? :)
Well i first have to say thank you for commenting on my 'deep' post. And because of that, I can totally relate to this post. Sometimes, it's like I want to monitor what I write about with the hopes that maybe some day people will read my blog. And I kind of thought I should keep it general. But then, everytime I post, I realize that really only a few people check me out every now and then. So why am I holding back? That's why I put it out there the other day. I figured, 'screw it'. I follow a variety of blogs, because in one way or another, there is something in each of them that I can connect to. And you are one of them! So it's not for nothing! How's the house?
Post a Comment