gHarmony

Tired of not finding that special someone to share everything with? That someone who will always be right by your side and there when you wake up? That someone who shares your same interests and daytime TV line-up?
Try gHarmony. At geriatric Harmony, we find that perfect person for you to spend the rest of your days with, whether your're in "The Restful Pines" or the VA Hospital, becasue having a compatable roommate at the nursing home is important.
Our compatibility matching models are based on 35 years of clinical experience and rigorous scientific research (ie. pestering Marge and Tilly) into which characteristics between roommates are consistently associated with the most successful relationships.
At gHarmony, it all starts with our comprehensive Relationship Questionnaire. Once we get to know you and you pay us the big bucks we then match you with other old folks based on the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility scientifically proven to predict happier, healthier relationships. For instance, do you both enjoy the Price is Right? Do you prefer mentholated or unscented? How regular are you? Do you like the thermostat set on "roasting" or "hot as hell?"
gHarmony is the Internet’s No. 1 trusted old fart service provider. Millions of people of all ethnicities, national origins and religious and political beliefs have used gHarmony's Compatibility Matching System to find compatible long-term* roommates. gHarmony is available in the United States, Canada, Uraguay, Ecuador and Australia.
Isn't it time you found gHarmony?
* in a retirement center, 1 year is considered "long-term"

P.S. Y'all know I couldn't stay away that long! Especially when y'all are posting crap this funny! Hi-damn-larius!

Goodbye...

Well, my friends, it was inevitable. This blog thing has been fun, but it's time for me to go. I've enjoyed getting to "know" so many of you and your lives. As for me, no more stories of my Savannah or my pain-in-the-butt husband. No more "WTF Fridays" or pictures form our adventures. "Why" you ask? 1. Duh! The new fall TV line-up is starting and I luv me some "How I Met Your Mother," "Big Bang Theory","Heros," "Bones,"...
But don't worry. I'll be back eventually.

Once Upon a Time...

there was a cute college girl who was living it up in Charleston, going to parties and bars. She lived for Friday nights because that meant Disco Hell and meeting boys. She was a good little student, most of the time, and managed to pass all her classes.
One day, she went to her favorite bar, Acme, with her roomie and some friends. The friends brought along some Navy boys. Now, she had been warned about those military boys, so she didn't pay any of them too much attention, particularly because she had her eye on a cowboy she had seen the past few weeks.
One of the Navy boys thought he'd give it a shot and asked her to dance. They did, but then afterwards the college girl kept her eye out for the cowboy. The Navy boy told the roomie he didn't think the college girl liked him very much. The college girl told him she wasn't going to hang all over the first guy she met that night, which was OK, because the Navy boy's friend told him he could do better anyway.
So, eventually the college girl meets the cowboy, they visit for a while but he turns out to be a real jerk. By that time, it's late, but who still happens to be there? None other than the Navy boy so the college girl goes over to talk to him and they end up hitting it off.
Fast forwards a few months, blah, blah, blah, true love, etc. and they lived happily ever after. Yeah- something like that, anyway.
All that was almost 13 years ago. Believe it or not, today is our 11th anniversary. So here's to the college girl and the Navy boy - may there be many more years to come!

I sense a trend

I don't care what Earl says. Karma is a bitch.
I suppose the recent chain of events has me in a foul mood and there is quite possibly some PMS involved, just bein' honest, but I cannot believe what happened to me today:
Up until then, it had been a successful morning. I got my haircut and Savannah waited oh-so patiently. We went to Goodwill and scored 2 cute dresses for under $5. Then we went to Kmart where we purchased a gift and got a major deal on some kids' books. While putting my things in the Jeep, I noticed some gum on the ground. This is a major pet peeve of mine. So I thoughtfully put a little piece of paper on it so when someone stepped on it, they would step on the paper and not the nasty gum- tragedy averted!
Next, we met up with Steve to go look at some faucets for the house. All went great there. We checked out the goods, made some decisions and the price was right. We stopped for lunch and then we had one more stop on our way back home: the bank. We had been wanting to open another account to save money for things like furniture, decorations and plastic flamingos (kidding!). The lady was clueless and it took forever! Savannah crawled all over every inch of the floor and her Daddy. It was finally time to go so me and Savannah head for the door. As I'm putting her in her car seat, I could tell something horrible had happened. I look down to see that I had just stepped in nasty, chewed GUM! No freakin way! I take off my flip flop and the gum stretched out like cheese in a pizza commercial! UGH! See, I told you Karma was a bitch.

WTF?

(Click to enlarge. Trust me. It's worth it)