Hair today, gone tomorrow

Kermit says it's not easy being green. Maybe so, but sometimes it ain't easy being a girl. Don't get me wrong. I don't wish I were a guy or anything like that, but who hasn't envied a guy every now and then?
They avoid nasty bathrooms and porta-potties don't frighten them. They can pee standing up! Need to be somewhere in 10 minutes? No problem. Guys just take a quick shower and throw on deodorant and clothes. Want to go hang out with the guys? They just call up a buddy on the phone. Wife's got the kids and his friend is already at the bar. No problem! Not to mention other monthly "joys" women experience.
But the one that really kills me is going swimming. Guys just take off their shirt. Done. In the water doing cannonballs! Girls? Ha! It involves 2 major tragedies: swim wear and hair removal.
1. Swim wear. No woman enjoys picking out a bathing suit. They're expensive and it takes forever to find one that's flattering. We realize that most men could care less, but it's not really about what the man thinks. It's about what we think. We need to look decent enough to go out in public wearing 1/10th of the clothes we normally wear and even then, we think that shirt makes us look 6 months pregnant! Got a big hiney? You need to find a skirt. Got big boobs? Need to have underwire. Got a flabby belly? Need to get a tankini. The striped one? No, the color's all wrong. What about the halter? It's too short. Maybe the one with the belt? Too expensive. And so on and so on and so on...
2. Hair removal. Guys can go without shaving any part of their body for days and it would be totally acceptable. Girls, on the other hand, show up somewhere without having shaved their legs in 2 days and suddenly we're Euro-hippies. Puh-lease. There's also the regular shaving of the arm pits and for some people, their bikini area. This cannot be done in 2 minutes with success; therefore we can't throw caution to the wind and hop in the pool. No, for me, it requires waxing. Expensive and painful waxing. You all saw "40 Year Old Virgin," right? Ok, so maybe it isn't "Kelly Clarkson" bad, but it's not pleasant. If you're lucky, the technician knows what she's doing and it goes by quickly. I once had a 45 minute session. No shit. It was awful.
And yet, we go through this summer after summer. Kermit may not have liked being green, but he was acceptably naked and didn't have a lick of hair.

P.S. I finally added a few pics to this Paris post if you're interested.